The Pain Which Drives You Nuts                                                                                                   27/4/2018

Have you ever felt like you just want to slit your wrists and kill yourself? Or even jump off the building cause life is too fucked up for you? Or even the pain which makes you want to be heard because you just want to scream and get yourself heard? So helpless... lost and even depressed. 

When people ask you if you are okay, you say you are fine and smile and they walk away. But in reality, you want them to take your hand and make everything in the world be back to how it used to be. You act all cheerful and happy with a smile on your face but in reality you are just crying and breaking down inside.

Sometimes you want to tell the world how you feel by social media but restrain yourself because everyone in this society is so fucking judgmental. 

The only way to resort to dealing with pain is crying your heart out to your dear pillow or even just crying in the dark.  But after you are done, your eyes feel so heavy, and you have a heart ache. It is as if someone carved out a bit of your heart. But after all that pain, you decide to fall asleep.

But as you fall asleep, every single bad memory and bad times flashes through your head and you are awake once again.

Miraculously, you fall asleep (finally) and then you wake up to the shitty world once again. Then you have to put on a smile on your face and face the world once again... The feeling of  loneliness comes back in even though there are so many people around you.

Somehow, people go through the same thing but you still feel like you are the only one.